In less recent news, I had two baby showers in the past few months, and both were a lot of fun. The first was speakeasy themed, complete with a bathtub punch bowl and plenty of gambling, and the second was hobo themed, complete with arm-wrestling and eating stew out of cans.
Here is my attempt at taking my own picture with my phone. Ignore my slightly-crossed eyes and focus on the fact that I'm wearing lipstick for the first time ever and my hair is curled.
Also, check out my gold nails. Blam.
Here's my bathtub punch bowl I built, by which I mean I attached legs to a baby bathtub. What I did was bolt some metal handrail brackets to the base using stainless steel bolts and neoprene washers, and then I covered them with curved cardboard sleeves I made and painted white to look like the feet of a clawfoot tub. Technically it leaked despite all the water tests I did, but it was all cool because I didn't put the punch directly in it.
And here are some of the fellas playing poker. It was the first shower any of them had ever been to, and they all had a great time and said I had set the bar pretty high for future baby showers. I told them they could keep playing cards while I opened gifts inside, but they all wanted to be a part of things so they came in to watch.
(I didn't take any pictures at the hobo shower, but Audrey put hers on Facebook.)
Last but not least, I promised you baby pictures of the Sam. I hope you're sitting down for this, because some of these are adorable.
Well, not this first one. Sam's pretty red-faced, and hairy, and angry in this picture, which is how I'm told he looked for his first six months. His little hand seems to be pointing a knuckle right at the photographer, while his scowl suggests that if he could talk he'd be saying something along the lines of "You know what your problem is, buddy?" If anything I think he bears a striking resemblance to an inebriated Burt Young.
I acquired these photos from Sam's mom, who brought a big box of pictures down with her when she visited a few months ago. They weren't all of Sam, they were just a big mix of family pictures, so I had to sift through them looking for Sam. Some I couldn't tell who they were of, but I had zero doubts about this one. Look at that profile:
THAT is an Orme. Also, I bet you didn't know that Sam was blond as a toddler.
Here he is chilling:
Using his phone:
And walking his pet duck:
Furthermore, I bet you didn't know Sam was an athlete from a very young age. So far he's dabbled in
And here he is posing for the cover of Sports Illustrated:
Like I said, each picture is more adorable than the last, which is why I had to tack this one I found in the box onto the end. This is a picture of my mother-in-law in a hole that her father dug and stuck her in. Tell me that's not the cutest thing you've ever seen.