Tuesday, April 17, 2018


Many of you have already seen this video, but Sam is in a blogging lull, so I thought I'd post it on here. I started using an app called Leap Second, which prompts you to select a one-second video clip every day. I cheat egregiously and use as many clips as I want per day, resulting in a video three times longer than it should be. Anyway, here's the month of March, which started off with three of us being sick, and ended with us watching General Conference.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Books and bubbles

After getting home from church, the kids had just two things that they wanted to do.

First, they wanted to take a bath with bubbles. And obviously, if you're taking a bubble bath, you need to make yourself a bubble beard.

After we got everyone cleaned up and dried off, they wanted to sit down and read some books.

No big deal. Just a quiet Sunday afternoon around these parts.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Cakes and faces

Both of the kids are feeling much better this week, which is good, because we were planning on going to our church cake auction this weekend and spending time with some friends. We were all looking forward to it, but maybe none of us as much as Edie, who kept saying over and over that she was going to win a strawberry cake. She looked all of the cakes over and came up with a few that were her favorites.

There was some stiff competition, but fortunately, we were able to come up with one that she liked.

That's Edie with one of her church friends. They were both very excited to see each other in theory, but when they actually saw each other and realized that they'd have to deal with an actual person, they both became very shy. It took time time of sitting next to each other before they realized that hiding under the table and climbing up and down on chairs was really fun. They had a great time. (Edie adores her cake. You can't see, but it's pink on the inside and strawberry-flavored.)

Marty had a buddy he could play with, too, but to be honest, he was less interested in playing with someone and more interested in trying to drink from a cup in the most horrifying way possible.

The picture doesn't really do it justice. He smashed as much of his face as possible into the cup, then let his long, prehensile tongue slither its way around the cup, sucking up as much water as possible. The cup was pressed so far into his mouth that it gave him a terrifying Glasgow-looking smile (think the Joker). He's a terrifying boy.

That said, he's not always disgusting. He likes to sit inside and watch Edie wait for her bus in the morning, and he's pretty darned adorable when he does that.

And for her part, Edie isn't always so adorable. Today after church, I was sitting on the couch and asked if she wanted to take a picture with me. One of us made an effort to look nice. One of us... didn't.

"I was just singing," she tried to explain, as she made an even more ridiculous face.

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Shoes and ooze

Marty's still sick, although he's getting a little better. He has a constant stream of clear snot pouring out of his nose that, if you're not careful, can easily mistake for the stream of drool that is constantly pouring from his mouth. (Aside: parenting is the WORST.) He's hanging in there, though, and other than puking all over himself on the car ride home from church, he's in good spirits. Here he is sitting in his room, carefully chewing on a block while considering how best to sit on my face.

This boy is inexplicably so fat and so bony at the same time. When he sits on me, and this happens frequently, he manages to knock the wind out of me and cause deep tissue bruises with the same enormous, pointy butt. I will never understand this boy's physique.

Edie is continuing to grow like a weed. This week, she started complaining that her shoes were too tight, so we headed to the store on Saturday to get some new ones. Before we left, we talked about what kind of shoes she wanted, and she confidently told me that she wanted red racecar shoes. They had them, but right next to those she saw some pink Minnie Mouse shoes that LIGHT UP WHEN YOU WALK. OH MY GOODNESS, DADDY, I NEED THESE SHOES. LET ME PUT THEM ON MY FEET RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

We got the shoes, and other than when she's asleep, she's had them on her feet pretty much every single second since. She proudly showed them off at church today, and performed several fashion shows like what you see above. Sadly, I wasn't able to capture the fashion walk she calls the "bottom dance," so you'll just have to imagine a four year-old waggling her butt at high speed and giggling like a loon.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

A brief update

The girl is presentable.

The boy is not.

He's really, really not.


Monday, February 19, 2018

Cuts and cubes

Marty's hair was starting to get a bit unwieldy, so Tamsen summoned her courage and gave him a haircut. She was worried she hadn't done a good job, but I think she did pretty well. It's just.. short, so it's taking some time to adjust to what he looks like.

He looks a little older now that his hair is so short. Alas, for my poor boy's golden curls. He is a baby no longer.

Eagle-eyed readers may notice that Marty has a fountain of snot pouring out of his nose in this picture. We've all been a little sick this weekend, each of us in a different stage of a cold. Marty, of course, has no understanding of or use for personal hygiene, so he's content to remain a cauldron of bubbling mucus.

Edie is getting better and better at spelling. She and Marty have discovered one of our old Boggle games recently, and they've been very excited about using the cubes. Marty just sucks on them, because he's a weirdo, but Edie likes to try to make words. One afternoon, she spelled out her name without any help from anyone. Pretty solid work, little girl.

Don't worry, she didn't leave Marty out of the fun. She spelled his name out next, although there wasn't quite enough room, so she crammed him in as best as she could.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Sweaters and onions

Over the past couple of months, I've had multiple co-workers come up to me at work and give me Oregon Ducks sweaters. They're hard to come by here in Tennessee, as you can imagine, but for whatever reason, they're finding them at Wal-Marts and Goodwills, so they're picking them up for me.

So when I got another one this week, I took it home and decided to let the kids have a crack at it. We tried it on Marty first.

It, uh, didn't fit. Edie saw what we were doing and immediately demanded that we let her try it on, too.

Sure, why not?

Nope, still too big for her. They both had a great time trying to fit into them, though. We thought about trying to cram both kids in there at once, but thought that might create a little more fighting than we were hoping for.

This is completely unrelated to sweaters in any way, but yesterday, we were rounding up books to return to the library. I made the foolish mistake of checking out fourteen of them at once, and of course, they ended up scattered across the entire house. We were searching through the living room, and while I suspected there might be some under the couch, I didn't really want to bend all the way over to check. Edie's small, though, so I picked up the skirt of the couch and asked her to take a look. She got down on the floor, and excitedly said, "Daddy! I found an onion!" She has an active imagination, so I figured it was a block or a toy that she had been pretending to cook with and imagined it was an onion. Sure, sweetie, let's see your onion, I thought.

She, uh, wasn't kidding.

Tamsen had gone shopping the other day and let Edie help her put the groceries away, so we're hoping that's where this came from. It wasn't rotting or anything and still looked okay, so we put it back in the fridge and revoked Edie's onion privileges for a while.