Four months

Our baby turned four months old yesterday. Look, here's proof:

She sure loves using that monkey as a benchmark to measure her growth in monthly increments!

The Three Faces of Edie

Three months means you get to watch three Edie videos. Hooray!

1. I think Edie has always known she has a mouth, but it took a number of weeks for her to realize she has hands, and just a few weeks ago she put it all together and figured out that she can put those hands in her mouth. She's been lovin' life ever since. Sam set out for Tennessee a week before Edie and I did, and while I'm sure he missed me, he really missed Edie, so I took this video to tide him over until we could all be together again.

2. Edie makes noises now, which is to say, lots of cooing and gurgling in addition to her usual cries and screams. I kept trying to catch it on tape, but the instant I'd pull out the camera she'd clam up. Finally I got her to cooperate, so here she is cooing and gooing:

 

3. It snowed here yesterday. I happened to look out the window mid-afternoon and couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the flakes. Right away I ran into Edie's room and told her to get dressed. Then I remembered that she is a baby and is incapable of dressing herself, so I started digging through her clothes boxes for her bear suit. I couldn't find it so I grabbed a big pink coat I came across, bundled her up, and took her outside for her first snowfall.

Three months

Edith turned three months old today, which means it's time for another one of these pictures.

I wouldn't have realized it, but she's actually getting quite a bit bigger. Observe how she towers over the sock monkey. Notice the distrustful eyes keeping a careful watch over her fallen foe. The baby is growing mightier, but not overconfident.

She's learned to smile over the last month, which isn't to say she does it often. We got lucky enough to catch her while we were taking pictures tonight.

The girl is adorable when she wants to be.

do you get the joke it is the sinclair dinosaur

kissin' that dino

That distrustful look toward that monkey is priceless.

And yet, she's not always suspicious. Why, she and that monkey are the best of friends, as you can see in this completely candid and not a bit staged picture.

HELLO

She really is a pretty terrific baby, all things considered.

Two months

Edith turned the big 2-0 (er, 0-2) yesterday, so we took some pictures to measure her growth. By the time I remembered to take the pictures, though, she was sound asleep, nestled in her pillow and blanket, and I didn't have the heart to take her out.

Here, I'll show you what I mean.

See? You try picking up someone who is obviously so comfortable. Plus, she was watching Nashville with Tamsen, and I didn't want to disturb them.

Clearly very comfortable.

I hope one day to be as cozy as she was.

I tried to get the sock monkey in for a size comparison, but I'm not sure it's going to give us an accurate sense of how big she is. Plus, it looks like it's trying to attack her, or at the very least make a desperate plea for her attention. love meeeeeeeeeee

Here she is, two months in. Bigger than one month, maybe not. Fatter than one month, maybe a little. But more adorable? I think the pink stripey socks speak for themselves.

And for good measure, here's a shot of the distrustful look she usually has on her face. Edith Sinclair, ladies and gentlemen.

Baby snores

Edith sometimes lets out tiny snores when she sleeps. It is adorable, and I have incontrovertible video evidence.

(the video may not appear in some RSS feeds, so sorry, but you'll have to click through to see it, and come on, it's less than a minute and totally worth your time so just click through already seriously)

Edith says hello

Edith was pretty calm this morning, so I had her stand on my lap and recorded a short video of her. Enjoy it, but remember that she's rarely this calm and that this is a time to be cherished.

One month

Edith is one month old today! That's what I was saying ten days ago today. Here's a picture we took of her:

The sock monkey provides a reference point, since it doesn't grow. Is Edie getting bigger? Is she growing quickly? I really have no idea, since I see her every day. I do know that she's bigger than a sock monkey now, though. So there's that.

Here's a bonus picture, because of course we had to take this picture:

Bigger than a lobster, too!

Through and Through

The profile is how I know she's Sam's:

The posture is how I know she's mine:

 

In other news, Edith and I both had our two-week check-ups and passed with flying colors. She's gaining back some weight, and I'm now able to cough, sneeze, walk, drive, and laugh without holding my belly, all of which I could not do right after my surgery.

And because I know you're here to see Edie, here's another video of her not doing much of anything except wiggling around. Around 0:38 she realizes she's being filmed and comes over all awkward. So much for a slice of life.

Bath time

Now that we've had Edith for two weeks (today! happy two weeks, baby), we figured it was time to actually give her a bath. Tamsen had already taken a plastic bathtub and added claw feet to it because of course she had, so we made sure it was watertight, filled it up, and put our baby in it.

We thought about taking pictures or a video, but it quickly became apparent that that wouldn't have been such a good idea. Edith really, really didn't like being in the bathtub. She screamed and thrashed and got pretty close to sticking her face underwater. I did my best to hold her head up while Tamsen gently scrubbed her skin and washed her hair. We only subjected Edith to a few minutes before plucking her out and wrapping her in a towel. Once she was safely out of the tub and back in my arms, she gave me a sad, mournful look out of the corner of her eye, as if to say, "Don't put me back in there, Dad."

So I guess we're terrible parents? Either we need to find a better way to clean our baby or resign ourselves to having a stinky little person around the house.

Moving pictures

It's fun to see Edith in pictures, but I think it's even more fun to see her squirming around, even if she's not doing anything particularly interesting. Maybe you'll agree? And if not, maybe you'll let me know via poorly spelled and worded inflammatory comments?

Sleep parenting

Just popping in to say that if you don't read our sleeping blog you should head on over there now to read all about Sam's new-parent sleepwalking adventures.

Tired baby is tired

I bet if I hadn't told you, you wouldn't have even known there was a baby in this picture. Edith is a master of disguise.

3 days

The baby has come, and while I've written about her elsewhere (on my blog, and all over Twitter), I haven't written anything about her here. So I will! Her name is Edith Sinclair Orme, and we like her okay so far. She's been fussy and refused to sleep or eat for a few days, but now that we've whipped up a bottle for her and fed her, she's a lot more cheerful. ("Cheerful," of course, means "asleep." She's laying in my lap right now as I try to type this out one-handed.) Tamsen's tired and sore from her C-section, but in good spirits. I'm pretty good, too, and mostly just hoping that she'll eat better so she can sleep better.

You didn't come here for words, though. Here's a picture of mama and baby asleep together.

I have another one of Edith, Tamsen, and her mom all asleep on the couch, but I think Susan doesn't like having pictures taken, so I won't post it here; trust me, though, when I tell you that it is adorable.

38 weeks

Okay folks, the big news is that I went to the doctor yesterday and found out the baby is breech, which means I'm going in for a scheduled c-section next week (the 23rd to be specific). It's not exactly what either of us was hoping for, but we think it's our best option, so we're moving forward with it. If you're interested, Sam's going to be tweeting the whole experience, so look for him on twitter (@TheRealSamOrme) if you want immediate details and pictures. The procedure's scheduled for 12:30pm, and we check in a few hours before that.

In less recent news, I had two baby showers in the past few months, and both were a lot of fun. The first was speakeasy themed, complete with a bathtub punch bowl and plenty of gambling, and the second was hobo themed, complete with arm-wrestling and eating stew out of cans.

Here is my attempt at taking my own picture with my phone. Ignore my slightly-crossed eyes and focus on the fact that I'm wearing lipstick for the first time ever and my hair is curled.

Also, check out my gold nails. Blam.

Here's my bathtub punch bowl I built, by which I mean I attached legs to a baby bathtub. What I did was bolt some metal handrail brackets to the base using stainless steel bolts and neoprene washers, and then I covered them with curved cardboard sleeves I made and painted white to look like the feet of a clawfoot tub. Technically it leaked despite all the water tests I did, but it was all cool because I didn't put the punch directly in it. 

And here are some of the fellas playing poker. It was the first shower any of them had ever been to, and they all had a great time and said I had set the bar pretty high for future baby showers. I told them they could keep playing cards while I opened gifts inside, but they all wanted to be a part of things so they came in to watch.

(I didn't take any pictures at the hobo shower, but Audrey put hers on Facebook.)

Last but not least, I promised you baby pictures of the Sam. I hope you're sitting down for this, because some of these are adorable.

Well, not this first one. Sam's pretty red-faced, and hairy, and angry in this picture, which is how I'm told he looked for his first six months. His little hand seems to be pointing a knuckle right at the photographer, while his scowl suggests that if he could talk he'd be saying something along the lines of "You know what your problem is, buddy?" If anything I think he bears a striking resemblance to an inebriated Burt Young.

Eh, eh?

I acquired these photos from Sam's mom, who brought a big box of pictures down with her when she visited a few months ago. They weren't all of Sam, they were just a big mix of family pictures, so I had to sift through them looking for Sam. Some I couldn't tell who they were of, but I had zero doubts about this one. Look at that profile:

THAT is an Orme. Also, I bet you didn't know that Sam was blond as a toddler. 

Here he is chilling:

Using his phone:

Playing on his favorite fire hydrant:

And walking his pet duck:

Furthermore, I bet you didn't know Sam was an athlete from a very young age. So far he's dabbled in

Baseball:

Soccer:

Cycling:

Running:

And here he is posing for the cover of Sports Illustrated:

Like I said, each picture is more adorable than the last, which is why I had to tack this one I found in the box onto the end. This is a picture of my mother-in-law in a hole that her father dug and stuck her in. Tell me that's not the cutest thing you've ever seen.

25 weeks

If I look like I swallowed a small watermelon it's partially because I'm five months pregnant, but it's also because I've been swallowing small watermelons. Every time we go grocery shopping I buy a watermelon and spend a week or so eating my way through it. Love me some watermelon.

But I know you didn't come all this way to look at fruit - you want to see some five-month pictures, so here I am at 25 weeks:

If you know me at all you know that I'm a nail-biter, but look at these puppies! They're growing so fast I was having to chew them off every day, which was just too much work, so for now I'm putting up with them.

And for good measure, here's a shot of my 25-week belly:

Sorry it's sideways, but you get the idea.

On the name front, no we haven't picked a name yet. We're still trying to choose between Edith and Olive, but at this point there's no clear winner. We like both names so we're not fussed about making a decision anytime soon. We may just have to see what this baby looks like when she comes out.

Lastly, I've finally gotten my hands on some of Sam's baby pictures, so be prepared for what's to come.

Gray baby blobs

Well, after an extremely long ultrasound the results are in, and we've been told we're most likely having a girl. The baby kept turning flips and putting itself in weird positions, and the tech had to measure every part of the baby, so the whole thing took about an hour and a half, which I was not expecting. Frankly you can only watch a screen of swirling gray blobs for so long before you start seeing things. It's like watching a moving Rorschach test, or a weird silent film produced by Sergei Eisenstein, Salvador Dali, and Tim Burton. There were crocodiles that morphed into spiny octopuses that changed into ghoulish Halloween masks with beards made out of teeth.

The whole thing was surreal, and yet it got pretty boring pretty fast. I was tired, Sam's on Vicodin while he's waiting to have a root canal, so he was tired, and we both just wanted to get home and take a nap. Luckily my doctor's appointment afterward was super-quick, so we high-tailed it out of there, got some food, ran a quick errand, and went home to crash, which takes us up to the present.

Myopia and Crooked Teeth

I am curious to know what our baby will look like, but not in a giddy, expectant sort of way. No, if anything it's a dollop of dread combined with a "why can't I look away from this train wreck" sort of feel, because I know in my heart of hearts that Sam and I are not good-looking people (see below). I figure even if our kid manages to get the best each of us has to offer gene-wise, they will undoubtedly have some serious vision and dental problems.

So, as a taste of what's to come I thought I'd prepare you with some of my baby pictures. Brace yourselves.

Exhibit A:

Here I am at 1 month old. I am squishy and pink, which is to be expected, but I am also enormous (I came out 12 days late weighing 10 pounds), and, if my squinty eyes and clawed fist are any indication, my nature is extremely mistrustful.

Exhibit B:

This is me at six months. Pale, indistinct features. The relaxed slouch of a Colombian drug lord. Glasses, a protruding forehead, and a really top-notch blue leisure suit. Not much has changed, except I tragically outgrew that suit and have since grown some hair. Speaking of which...

Exhibit C:

Sweet jeepers will you look at that hairline. I thought surely some hair would disguise that forehead, but I hadn't counted on it only growing on the back of my head. I look like a balding Chucky doll.  I understand now why my mother made me wear not one, but two hats that year for Halloween.

And now, because you managed to look at all that, here is the best baby picture I have of myself:

I'm 8 months old, my Chucky hair hasn't yet come in, I'm wearing a cute little dress, and I'm already eating solidly solid food. (So what if it's clothespins?) This one gives me a smidgen of hope for the future.